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Sunday, January 8, 2012

All The Boys Love Mandy Lane

    This movie is insane. It's about a hot girl and her best friend that is in love with her as usual. It's about high school kids. It's about idiots that think that women are "pure", not even asking the question why you would want a "pure" woman. It's about high school boys in love with Mandy Lane and her weird best friend.
    I enjoy that the concept of calling dibs on females is in this film. For some reason this childish social contract amongst males persist in college. It's really sad to overhear, men so lack in confident that they must create claims on females that they never express their intentions to in real life. My friends and I have this policy: if you can get, get it. That policy goes on constantly even into relationships. However we must notify each other if we or someone else has gotten it.
    I don't know what high school these kids go to, but everyone looks like an Ambercrombie & Finch Advertisement.  The kids do what hollywood thinks kids do: drink, smoke weed & do hard drugs. At first it looks like cocaine, but it's not. Kids these days aren't like the rascals of the 1970's & 1980's doing cocaine, kids today do Adderall. Two girls crush up Adderall and snort it.
    One thing you can count on in a teen Horror Film: a rich white girl, a strong black guy for no reason, a nerd/loser who magically hangs out with cool people, a ho, a mean ho, a ho with low self-esteem, a douche-bag, and the main girl that is important for some indiscernible reason.  Amber Heard plays Mandy Lane. Amber Heard recently stared as the attractive blonde in the Rum Diaries; a Johnny Deep movie.
   There is an awesome Farm Hand, named Garth. Garth is a man. Oh yeah, they are on a ranch in Texas, with no one around for miles. This is probably what George W Bush did in his teen years.
   There is a lot of stupid teenage drama in this film.
"Sound of silver of talk to me, makes you want to feel like a teenager. Until you remember the feelings of a real live emotional teenager then you think again." - LCD Soundsystem